At What Point Did You Forget That We’re TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!?!

Heh, Cats and Dogs was a funny film – and I swear there’s a grain of truth in it. My cat often has the wistful look of one in the midst of planning global annihilation…. aww, so cute.*

She did not take my criticism of her world domination plans well... (Not my cat, btw - image from ICanHasCheezburger.com)

Anyway, this post was inspired by my lovely friend Jenni over at Blossom.nu, who asked me what the world would be like if I were in charge. A tricky question indeed, I thought, so this is my attempt to answer it… In order to keep my answer fairly concise (and hopefully entertaining), it will take the form of a list of the top four things I would do if I was in charge (it would have been more, but my brain started going melty from thinking about stuff too hard, buh).

  • Mandatory training for all management level employees – lessons to include: How to not be a psycho boss, How to not be an office gossip, How to actually manage people, How to not make the whole office feel uncomfortable with your brown-nosing, How to give your employees credit for the work they put in and make them feel at least a little bit appreciated… There’s a good boss. Have a biscuit.
  •  Fix the NHS*Warning – serious point ahead!* The NHS is a good thing. It shouldn’t be privatised and it needs to be looked after and, well… cleaned up a bit.  I don’t know how to fix all the NHS’s problems, but I do know that it’s important that we try, and that we do so by listening to those who know what they’re talking about – like the people who actually work within the organisation.
  • Legalise it*warning – controversial point ahead!* Alright, we all know that drugs are bad, mmmkay… but really, is marijuana that much worse than alcohol? Which is perfectly legal to buy and enjoy, as long as you’re over 18.  I mean, yes, pot can cause paranoia and other mental problems, but alcohol can also cause liver damage and mental problems, so I honesty don’t think that one is illegal and the other is not purely because the government is worried about our collective health. I don’t smoke – marijuana or anything else – but part of me just doesn’t see the logic of the war on drugs. I just wonder if a more relaxed, understanding and less authoritarian approach would actually help more people.
  • An End to Ugg Boots – they are stupid. They look crap, they aren’t waterproof, they don’t support your feet and if you wear them for a while they go all misshapen. They will be banned, and anyone who ignores the ban will be punished by simply not being taken seriously in anything they do.

Heh – turns out I have quite strong opinions about stuff. Who knew?  If you feel the need to discuss further, please let me know in the comments – just be constructive with your criticisms and we can be buds, ok? And before you say anything, yes, I do see the irony of being libertarian on drugs and authoritarian on the comparatively harmless Ugg Boot… It’s just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

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*But seriously though: if cats ever put aside their many territorial disputes and start working together, the human race is in trouble – they’ve got us pretty well-trained to bend to their whims already… I for one will welcome our feline overlords when the time comes.

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2 Comments

Filed under Randomness and Musings

2 responses to “At What Point Did You Forget That We’re TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!?!

  1. Very good points, but…QUESTION. Do you mean the Uggs go misshapen, or your feet?

    • Well, the Ugg boots – but if you wear them for long enough, I suppose your feet do too! From what I’ve seen, they make you walk funny once they’ve gone saggy, not sure if that’s the boots, or the misshapen feet inside them…

      I’m glad you approve.

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