Things to do before I’m 30 Re-visited

Last year I wrote a list of ten ‘Things to do Before I’m 30’ – and then spectacularly failed to do any of them before I hit the big three-zero.

Never mind, I thought – why give yourself an arbitrary deadline? Why not do these things in your own time? And so that’s what I’ve been doing, and now seemed like a good time to re-visit the list to see how I’m getting on. If you want to see my reasons for the things on the list, the original post is here.

1. Record an album – Well, it’s in progress… But I am gradually creeping closer to being finished as I now have 11 tracks recorded and close to being ready for mixing. Then I just need to get the thing mastered and produced! So a bit of a way to go, but I’m getting there.
2. Improve my instrumental skills – I’ve started taking piano lessons again, and I’ve been working on my guitar skills. This is one that won’t ever really stop though, so maybe putting a deadline on it was a mistake in the first place…
3. Go on tour – I’m hoping to start booking dates soon, but it’ll depend on when I can get the album released.
4. Start learning Spanish – Yeah, this one’s on the back-burner.
5. Travel – I went to Tunisia, which was ok, and I’m off to Spain in September, hopefully (hmmm, maybe I should make more of an effort with the above point before I go!). I still aim to travel more though.
6. Get a tattoo – Done! I never actually thought I’d go through with this one, but here we are. Did it hurt? Yes. But not too badly, actually, and I’m really pleased with the result.
7. Try something different with my hair – I dyed my hair black for the last Malmesbury Carnival (so technically, I did get this done before my 30^th!), but it faded out really quickly and I couldn’t be bothered to re-do it. I’m still quite bored with my hair so maybe I’ll have another crack at it one day. I’m just not very good at making the effort with stuff like that though.
8. Create a cartoon character that is “edgy enough to be alternative, but still cute enough to be marketable” (like Skull Panda) – Yeah, another one on the back burner.
9. Write a non-serious song -  and another.
10. Try snowboarding – and another!

Well, there it is – my half-arsed attempt at doing a list of things.

I might give up on a couple (like the non-serious song… attempts at humour have been poor. I’m just not naturally funny!), but I’ve actually achieved more than I thought I had. Maybe you’ll read this and think it’s not a very successful list, that I’ve failed in meeting my own targets, but it doesn’t matter really. What matters is that I haven’t given up, that I’m trying, and slowly working towards finishing the items that are really important to me.

Post It Note Sketches

Post It notes – I love them… But we’ll get on to that in a bit.

First, I’d like to explain what’s been going on in my life recently. Of course, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I quit my job a while ago, and at the time, was not-so-patiently waiting for life to re-start when I’d worked the last of my notice there. Well now it has, and I have to say, the difference in my mood and personality has been amazing. It’s so nice to wake up in the morning and to decide for myself what the plan for the day is. Yes, it’s now completely up to me to get motivated and to get stuff done, but I can work on what I like when I like, and that has made me so much happier.

Financially it makes sense for me to look for another job at least part-time, but at the moment my priority is to get the never ending album project finished and that is what I am concentrating on.

So anyway, back to the point. When I was not so gainfully unemployed, I used to sketch little things on Post-It notes. It was kind of a coping mechanism as it gave my mind a small break from whatever spreadsheet I was staring at. Apparently doodling has been shown to help memory and concentration, but even so, my little sketch collection seemed to be frowned upon… yet I couldn’t bring myself to throw them all out.

Recently I was tidying up the studio and I found a stack of ones that I’d brought home with me, so I thought I’d share them:

Flowery fun with highlighters

Some fan art… Looshkin belongs to Jamie Smart and is usually less chunky than this!

Possibly a panther. Definitely a big cat.

Why, monkey – don’t you have big ears?!

A lion sat next to a product code. That happens a lot in real life, right?

Yes, past me – drawing IS fun

Butterfly flutterin’ by.

More fan art – Filler Bunny is the creation of Jhonen Vasquez.

Some curly curls being curly.

Technically not a Post It sketch… Liked it enough to share it anyway.

What do cows say? That’s right – cows say ‘moo’.

And if you like those, here’s a tumblr dedicated solely to the art of Post-Its. You can even send in your own!

In Limbo

It’s a Thursday afternoon and here I sit, in limbo. Having handed in my notice at work, it feels like I am just waiting for the end to start. And once that happens, perhaps I can begin anew.

I do feel better though, despite the nagging fear that there won’t be another job out there, or that I won’t be able to find the self-motivation to finish the projects that I am determined to make time for. In this limbo state, I can see more clearly that this is not a bad thing.

Change is important, and whether life after my old job turns out to be good, bad or even a complete surprise, I know that I would have regretted staying.

So, thank you to everyone who sent me messages or who I’ve chatted with since my last blog post . Thank you for your support, concern and advice – I appreciate your thoughts, both positive and negative (or sensible, as they’re also known ). It’s good to know you’re there.

And the countdown continues…

Snowballing Momentum and New Starts

 

There’s been this creeping feeling of wrongness in my life for some time now. And the longer it’s been there, the bigger it has felt – gaining momentum like the proverbial snowball down the slope – to the point where hubby and I came home after a really good night out and I just cried.

And cried, and cried.

I decided then – it’s time to stop it. Time to accept that there are things that I am not happy about, and to address them.

I seem to have spent most of this year questioning myself:  Am I happy with life? Am I getting anywhere with my music? Am I spending my time on the right things? Am I ‘good enough’? Have I made the right choices? Am I doing anything to make the world better? Am I doing something I believe in? Am I going in even vaguely the right direction?

These are the kind of questions that we do need to ask ourselves from time to time, but the constant drip, drip, drip of self-doubt has just been making me miserable.

In all this questioning, there is one definite answer. Things need to change – and at the top of the list is my job.

Those who know me personally will know that I’ve said this for some time, but now I really think that my happiness, time and mental health is worth more than the monthly wage that’s been keeping me there.

I need a new start.

I don’t expect this to magically fix everything – in fact, I fully expect the next few months to be pretty tough. There will be less money coming in so there will have to be cut-backs, but I believe that hubby and I will be able to get by, get through it, and hopefully come out the other side happier.

Takin’ a Tiny Break

TreeFest is nearly here!

As a member of the 4014 team, I’m really excited to be part of the weekend of music, mayhem and family fun – but I am also facing the reality that this blog is going to be on the back-burner for a bit. In theory, it should be just over the bank holiday weekend, but realistically, I have other commitments over the next couple of weeks that may also get in the way.

Not that the blog hasn’t been neglected for the last couple of months anyway. I do realise that I have been slacking. In my defence, I’ve had a lot of other stuff going on, which I may or may not decide to post about at a later date… (going for mysterious there, probably came off more annoying. Whatever, it’s my blog.)

Basically the plan is to give the blog a rest for a bit, and then come back with a more regular posting schedule in September. And hopefully some interesting stuff to tell you all about too.

I would just like to say thanks to all those who have read/liked/commented – there are a lot of (better) blogs out there, so I appreciate the time you’ve made for mine. Thank you.

So, it’s ta ta for now. I shall see you anon.

Ells’ Helpful Guide To Music Things Part 4: Surviving Your First Open Mic

Ok, this post is a bit of a re-hash of a piece I did for the 4014 Radio show back in the day, but seeing as it’s nearly time for our annual 4014 Project Carnival Open Mic, I thought it would be good to go over again.

So, it’s your first Open Mic – that’s great! I hope you’re excited, but I expect that you’re pretty nervous too. Here’s my tips for making the most of your Open Mic experience:

• Preparation - Practice, practice and then practice some more. Remember that you will be nervous on the night, and that this might make your performance a little less than perfect. The better you know your songs or pieces the better you’ll feel.

  Open Mics are a great opportunity to improve your stage presence and performance skills – the best way to get more confident on stage is to get on stage. They generally have a supportive and encouraging atmosphere too.

• DO IT – If it’s your first time performing in front of a crowd, it takes guts to actually get up on the stage. Every musician out there will tell you that it’s worth it though.
• Make Yourself known – There will probably be a slightly stressed looking somebody around with a list: that’s the person you need. Let them know that you want to play. I would try to get there early(ish – you don’t want to hang around tooo long), so that you’re guaranteed a place.
• Are we sitting comfortably? – Position yourself so that you can comfortably sing into the mic. If you  need to look at the neck of your guitar or the keys of the piano (or whatever instrument you play), move the mic/mic stand so you can do so without singing ‘off mic’. Moving things about is not a crime – remember, the sound person wants you to sound your best, so don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  
  As a side note, it’s a very good idea to practice with a mic if you can – it’ll help you get a good idea of the best placement for you.
• Annnd relax….- Before you start your performance, take a deep breath and a second to try to relax. Your adrenaline level will probably be quite high, so it’s easy to rush in and play too fast.
• Look at the audience… – Looking at the audience will make you seem more confident, regardless of how you’re feeling inside. If that freaks you out or puts you off, try looking over the audience. You don’t have to do it all the time, but if you don’t look up at all, you won’t make as strong a connection with your listeners.
• Ignore the Chatter – There probably will be some people in the audience who talk. If you can, just try to ignore them. There are people who are listening, and they want you to do well.
• Don’t worry if you make a mistake – It’s live music – nobody expects it to be perfect. All musicians have messed up on stage. If you can’t keep going, try to pick up from near where you left off. And if you’re bold and make a joke of it, then I bet you’ll get an even bigger cheer at the end of the song.
• And finally – enjoy!Performing music in front of people is nerve-wracking, yes. But it’s also a great feeling, and once you start it’s hard to stop!

I hope you enjoy your first Open Mic experience – but even if things don’t go quite to plan, remember that it takes time to build your confidence and the more you get up on stage and play, the easier it will become.

The nerves may never leave you completely (I certainly still get nervous, and I’ve been at this for years now), but it’s all part of the experience, and the buzz after a great performance is pretty immense.

Why not share your experiences in the comments? I love hearing from you – and maybe I’ll even see a few of you at an Open Mic near by.

Productiveness and Practice

Image from oddquartet.com – print it out and stick it on things! You know you want to…

Practising: I am well aware that I need to do it, but I have a tendency to either get distracted by other things, or lapse for weeks if I don’t have performance to prepare for.

But, as I mentioned in my post the other week I’ve recently started taking piano lessons again. It’s been going pretty well so far – in four (five?) lessons I have three pieces that are starting to come together and I’m pleasantly surprised how quickly things are coming back to me. I’m pleased that I’m remembering how to read music again (which I haven’t done seriously since I left university… in 2004). But the main thing that starting lessons has given me – something to practise for every week.

My previous experience of piano lessons has been draconian attitudes and pressure to pass exams*, so it’s been a really refreshing experience to go to a teacher who told me on my first lesson ‘yeah, if you can get 15-30 minutes in 4 or 5 time a week, you’ll see some improvement’. And I am.

What I’ve tried to do these past few weeks is to keep track of how long I have practised each day, and record it on a prettily coloured chart to keep myself accountable. I’ve included rows for guitar and vocal practise too… but to be honest, once I’ve worked through my piano practise, picking up the guitar feels like a treat and not a chore.

So, lately I’ve been playing a lot more and this is an excellent thing: time spent playing is never time wasted. However, I am starting to feel like I’ve actually been less productive. I don’t have anything physical to show for my work. Despite spending way more time in the music room, I haven’t progressed further on my never-ending album, nor have I written much new material or worked on the bits hubby asked me to do for the relaunch of the radio show.

I can’t help but think that I could do with a few more hours in the day to fit everything in.

Or maybe I just need to get more organised…

*I had several teachers growing up, but the two that I had most of my lessons with were also the two that I feared the most… The first scarred me emotionally for life and made me hate everything to do with playing (which explains why I quit several times). The second made me work really hard and actually got me through grade 5 with merit. I have a lot to thank her for, even if she did terrify the young me.

Little Things

Small things amuse small minds they say. If that’s the case, I must be pretty small-minded… but I think that little things can make all the difference.

So, here’s a list of little things that have given me happy little moments lately and why:

• Piano practice – I never thought I’d say this as I hated piano practice for years, and am notoriously bad at getting into a routine. I’m really enjoying the improvement I’m seeing after only a few weeks of re-starting lessons and making an effort to play (nearly) every day. And I like the way my fingers feel slightly stretched out after I’ve played.

• Discovering new stuff – New music, new films, new books, little nuggets of new information… it’s all good.

• Sharing new stuff – One of my friends was winding me up about my ant-fear the other day, but in the process he shared this article on ant super-colonies with me. Ants are pretty flippin’ impressive, even if they do scare the heck out of me. Sharing is fun, see.

In my friend’s defence, I started the ant conversation by sharing this image with him… (from http://science.memebase.com)

• A little act of rebellion – Shhhh… I use headphones at work. And they’re not allowed! I’m such a bad girl.

• Chocolate – Good dark chocolate is my favourite – rich and strongly flavoured, but not too bitter. All other forms of chocolate are acceptable though. And it’s such a creative thing: check out one of my favourite local chocolate shops, Lick The Spoon in Cirencester.

Chocolate lollipops from Lick The Spoon, Cirencester

• Tidying my record collection - The other day I went through and put all the CDs that were scattered around the house away. I put all the mixed up CDs back in alphabetical order. Boring and slightly anal, yes – but also kind of soothing. It’s also a reminder of what music I actually have – there were several albums that I had almost forgotten about and not played for ages that I just had to put on even as I was tidying. Reconnecting with albums you used to listen to a lot is good for the soul.

I have a feeling that everyone has these little things that cheer them up – what are yours?

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression

I’ve been feeling down a lot lately and I can’t quite place why. Yes, there are a couple of reasons, but none of them call for the weird emotional rollercoaster of mental self-criticism I’ve been going through (or putting myself through?) over the past month or so.

So anyway – instead of me moaning on, I thought I would share this post from the hilarious Hyperbole and a Half blog as it’s a strangely uplifting and humorous look at depression.

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression.

Oh, and fellow English language lovers – while you’re over there, check out the post on Alots… you will not regret it.

Natural History, Gigs, Friends and OMFG I’m Tired…

Friday the 13th, and we packed up early to head for London.

The main reason for our trip? A chance to see Frank Turner headlining Wembley Arena. The reason for the earliness? Dinosaurs! Specifically, an opportunity to go the Natural History Museum while we were in the area anyway.

We rocked up (see what I did there…?) at the museum in the early afternoon, expecting it to be busy but perhaps not queue-for-30-minutes-to-get-in-to-the-dinosaur-exhibit busy. Never mind: we’re British; we can queue with the best of them – and it was totally worth the wait. We spent hours wandering through throngs of people, taking in skeletons and fossils, birds and beasts preserved for posterity, and even the building itself, which is an impressive maze of exhibits and ornately decorated with all sorts of cool panels. The more modern Darwin Centre was really interesting too, with lots of interactive displays and stuff for kids (and big kids like me) to play with.

On to the big gig: I won’t ramble on about how awesome I think Frank Turner is – I’ve already done that many a time on this here blog – but I will say this: if anyone deserves to sell out a Wembley show, it is Frank. The man works hard, I tells ya.

Hubby and I were seated up in the rafters where we could hear the crowd almost as much as the band – and it was seriously the biggest sing-along I have ever heard. Almost every person knew almost every word to almost every song. And as much as I would have loved to have been jumping about down in the pit, hearing that from where we were was pretty fucking cool.

Support from Beans on Toast, Dan le Sac & Scroobious Pip and Billy Bragg was all good too – even if Beans on Toast did only manage to finish one song (he was charming enough to get away with it)!

The morning after, and the journey back was broken up only by a brief stop in Reading for an over-due catch up with our good friends Hayley and Mel over tea and hot cross buns. Which was nice.

A short stop at home, and we were off again – this time over to Cheltenham to catch some of the Trees on Fire Spring Fling mini festival at The Frog and Fiddle.  By this point I was a bit too tired to really pay attention to band names (getting old, see… and the cider may not have helped), so I can’t really point out my highlight sets other than Andy Oliveri and Ben Marwood, both of whom I’ve seen and met before (yep, favouritism, I admit it). There was a ska-type band that I liked early-ish in the afternoon, and the last band we saw (Arcane Roots, I think) were excellent – hard, heavy and dynamic.

Didn’t have a camera with me, but here’s DominicMeason’s photos of the event.

And then just like that it was Sunday, which I probably should have spent resting but decided instead to try to dig over some of my garden, and then fell asleep at just the right point to prevent me from sleeping at a sensible bed time.

I may have nearly fallen asleep at my desk today, but it was totally worth it. It’s been a hell of a weekend.