Things to do before I’m 30 Re-visited

Last year I wrote a list of ten ‘Things to do Before I’m 30’ – and then spectacularly failed to do any of them before I hit the big three-zero.

Never mind, I thought – why give yourself an arbitrary deadline? Why not do these things in your own time? And so that’s what I’ve been doing, and now seemed like a good time to re-visit the list to see how I’m getting on. If you want to see my reasons for the things on the list, the original post is here.

1. Record an album – Well, it’s in progress… But I am gradually creeping closer to being finished as I now have 11 tracks recorded and close to being ready for mixing. Then I just need to get the thing mastered and produced! So a bit of a way to go, but I’m getting there.
2. Improve my instrumental skills – I’ve started taking piano lessons again, and I’ve been working on my guitar skills. This is one that won’t ever really stop though, so maybe putting a deadline on it was a mistake in the first place…
3. Go on tour – I’m hoping to start booking dates soon, but it’ll depend on when I can get the album released.
4. Start learning Spanish – Yeah, this one’s on the back-burner.
5. Travel – I went to Tunisia, which was ok, and I’m off to Spain in September, hopefully (hmmm, maybe I should make more of an effort with the above point before I go!). I still aim to travel more though.
6. Get a tattoo – Done! I never actually thought I’d go through with this one, but here we are. Did it hurt? Yes. But not too badly, actually, and I’m really pleased with the result.
7. Try something different with my hair – I dyed my hair black for the last Malmesbury Carnival (so technically, I did get this done before my 30^th!), but it faded out really quickly and I couldn’t be bothered to re-do it. I’m still quite bored with my hair so maybe I’ll have another crack at it one day. I’m just not very good at making the effort with stuff like that though.
8. Create a cartoon character that is “edgy enough to be alternative, but still cute enough to be marketable” (like Skull Panda) – Yeah, another one on the back burner.
9. Write a non-serious song -  and another.
10. Try snowboarding – and another!

Well, there it is – my half-arsed attempt at doing a list of things.

I might give up on a couple (like the non-serious song… attempts at humour have been poor. I’m just not naturally funny!), but I’ve actually achieved more than I thought I had. Maybe you’ll read this and think it’s not a very successful list, that I’ve failed in meeting my own targets, but it doesn’t matter really. What matters is that I haven’t given up, that I’m trying, and slowly working towards finishing the items that are really important to me.

Ch-ch-changes

Change is important, and be it good or bad we should try to embrace it. 

I started a new job a few months ago, working two days a week. Dropping down from working full time has made a great deal of difference to me – I am happier, and generally more positive about life.

Not that I don’t have down days, but I can see this job as a means to an ends and it doesn’t stop me from doing the thing that I love as much – unlike my old job, which seemed to constantly be in my thoughts and to consume my time, even when I wasn’t there.

Since leaving, I’ve started feeling a lot more in control of my own life. Although I am not yet making money from doing what I love (making music), I am working towards it. I am taking steps towards the mountain, as Neil Gaiman so elegantly put it in this speech.

The only problem is that now, on my ‘non-working’ days, the only person who’s standards I have to meet are my own – and that can be an issue. I can do stuff in my own time which, although it’s a fantastic thing to be able to do, does give me heaps of scope to procrastinate. Secondly, I am quite hard on myself when things don’t sound as I think they should. When you’ve only got your own instincts to go by, how do you know when something is ‘good enough’ or even finished?

In the long run though, I feel like I’m moving forwards again. I’m not feeling stuck or trapped like I was at the end of last year, and that’s given me welcome space to change my outlook, be much more creative and to focus where my priorities lie.

Post It Note Sketches

Post It notes – I love them… But we’ll get on to that in a bit.

First, I’d like to explain what’s been going on in my life recently. Of course, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I quit my job a while ago, and at the time, was not-so-patiently waiting for life to re-start when I’d worked the last of my notice there. Well now it has, and I have to say, the difference in my mood and personality has been amazing. It’s so nice to wake up in the morning and to decide for myself what the plan for the day is. Yes, it’s now completely up to me to get motivated and to get stuff done, but I can work on what I like when I like, and that has made me so much happier.

Financially it makes sense for me to look for another job at least part-time, but at the moment my priority is to get the never ending album project finished and that is what I am concentrating on.

So anyway, back to the point. When I was not so gainfully unemployed, I used to sketch little things on Post-It notes. It was kind of a coping mechanism as it gave my mind a small break from whatever spreadsheet I was staring at. Apparently doodling has been shown to help memory and concentration, but even so, my little sketch collection seemed to be frowned upon… yet I couldn’t bring myself to throw them all out.

Recently I was tidying up the studio and I found a stack of ones that I’d brought home with me, so I thought I’d share them:

Why, monkey – don’t you have big ears?!

A lion sat next to a product code. That happens a lot in real life, right?

Some curly curls being curly.

Some fan art… Looshkin belongs to Jamie Smart and is usually less chunky than this!

Yes, past me – drawing IS fun

More fan art – Filler Bunny is the creation of Jhonen Vasquez.

What do cows say? That’s right – cows say ‘moo’.

Possibly a panther. Definitely a big cat.

Butterfly flutterin’ by.

Technically not a Post It sketch… Liked it enough to share it anyway.

Flowery fun with highlighters

And if you like those, here’s a tumblr dedicated solely to the art of Post-Its. You can even send in your own!

In Limbo

It’s a Thursday afternoon and here I sit, in limbo. Having handed in my notice at work, it feels like I am just waiting for the end to start. And once that happens, perhaps I can begin anew.

I do feel better though, despite the nagging fear that there won’t be another job out there, or that I won’t be able to find the self-motivation to finish the projects that I am determined to make time for. In this limbo state, I can see more clearly that this is not a bad thing.

Change is important, and whether life after my old job turns out to be good, bad or even a complete surprise, I know that I would have regretted staying.

So, thank you to everyone who sent me messages or who I’ve chatted with since my last blog post . Thank you for your support, concern and advice – I appreciate your thoughts, both positive and negative (or sensible, as they’re also known ). It’s good to know you’re there.

And the countdown continues…

Snowballing Momentum and New Starts

 

There’s been this creeping feeling of wrongness in my life for some time now. And the longer it’s been there, the bigger it has felt – gaining momentum like the proverbial snowball down the slope – to the point where hubby and I came home after a really good night out and I just cried.

And cried, and cried.

I decided then – it’s time to stop it. Time to accept that there are things that I am not happy about, and to address them.

I seem to have spent most of this year questioning myself:  Am I happy with life? Am I getting anywhere with my music? Am I spending my time on the right things? Am I ‘good enough’? Have I made the right choices? Am I doing anything to make the world better? Am I doing something I believe in? Am I going in even vaguely the right direction?

These are the kind of questions that we do need to ask ourselves from time to time, but the constant drip, drip, drip of self-doubt has just been making me miserable.

In all this questioning, there is one definite answer. Things need to change – and at the top of the list is my job.

Those who know me personally will know that I’ve said this for some time, but now I really think that my happiness, time and mental health is worth more than the monthly wage that’s been keeping me there.

I need a new start.

I don’t expect this to magically fix everything – in fact, I fully expect the next few months to be pretty tough. There will be less money coming in so there will have to be cut-backs, but I believe that hubby and I will be able to get by, get through it, and hopefully come out the other side happier.

Takin’ a Tiny Break

TreeFest is nearly here!

As a member of the 4014 team, I’m really excited to be part of the weekend of music, mayhem and family fun – but I am also facing the reality that this blog is going to be on the back-burner for a bit. In theory, it should be just over the bank holiday weekend, but realistically, I have other commitments over the next couple of weeks that may also get in the way.

Not that the blog hasn’t been neglected for the last couple of months anyway. I do realise that I have been slacking. In my defence, I’ve had a lot of other stuff going on, which I may or may not decide to post about at a later date… (going for mysterious there, probably came off more annoying. Whatever, it’s my blog.)

Basically the plan is to give the blog a rest for a bit, and then come back with a more regular posting schedule in September. And hopefully some interesting stuff to tell you all about too.

I would just like to say thanks to all those who have read/liked/commented – there are a lot of (better) blogs out there, so I appreciate the time you’ve made for mine. Thank you.

So, it’s ta ta for now. I shall see you anon.

My Essential Festival Checklist

It’s nearly festival time!

2000trees campsite, 2010 (I think)

The first ‘proper’ festival that we’re attending this year is TwoThousandTrees near Cheltenham. It’s a great little festival and I am definitely looking forward to it, despite the doom and gloom forecast by our friends at the Met Office.

Hubby and I have been to a fair few festivals together over the years, so we like to think that we’ve got the preparation part down to a fine art (through learning experiences like that time we forgot both matches and lighter so we couldn’t light our camping stove…).

So, in the hopes of helping out first time revellers and in excitement for this momentous weekend coming, I thought I’d share my list of festival essentials for the prepared and happy camper:

• Tickets – Seems pretty obvious, but don’t forget your tickets! And not just your festival tickets – make sure you have your travel or parking tickets sorted too.
• Money – There’s usually a cash machine somewhere on a festival site, but there’s also usually a massive queue. Bring enough to keep you going, but keep it safe.
• Tent and sleeping bag (of course) – Your home for the duration. Check that your tent and bedding are still ok before going if you haven’t used them for a while. Or, if you’ve got a shiny new tent, make sure you know how to put it up. Ever tried to put up an unfamiliar tent when it’s pouring and all your stuff is getting soaked? Believe me, it’s not fun.
• Emergency phone – Note the word emergency there.. It is a most sensible thing to have a phone with you, especially if you’re with a group. But please, please don’t spend your whole time texting when you’re watching bands. It’s annoying for the people around you, and it’s more fun for everyone if you let yourself get into the music (sorry, personal bug-bear!).
• Waterproofs – If you’re out in a field for a few days with only a tent for shelter, it’s bound to rain at some point – this is Britain! And with the summer being as wet as it has been this year, forget your waterproofs at your peril….
• Wellies and comfy welly socks – Wet ground gets pretty churned up with thousands of people treading on it, so wellies are a definite must. It always amazes me how often you see people wandering around sporting the ‘soaked trainers with ineffective plastic bags over the top’ look.
  
  The welly socks are a must for me to help stop my always-very-cold feet getting very cold. It won’t work, but I’ll try anyway. Thick socks also keep your feet comfy when you have to walk around a lot between stages.
• Suncream and Shades – It’s unlikely to be sunny for 2000Trees this year (boo!), but even wet days can have sunny spells. Don’t forget to protect yourself from the sun as you can get burnt much more quickly than you expect, especially if you’re fair-skinned like me.
• Torch – Guy ropes are hard enough to see in the daytime, let alone at night. Sites normally have lighting round the stages, but getting through a mess of tents without a torch (and after a few drinks) is very, very tricky.
• Wipes and Loo Roll – Toilet wipes and wet wipes/baby wipes. Baby wipes are good for general hygiene/cleaning up. Toilet wipes and toilet paper for any nasty surprises in the cubicle… put them in your bag or pocket so you’re not caught out! I don’t normally recommend specific products on this blog, but Method Flushable Wipes are pretty good and are environmentally friendly too.
• Snacks – There’s some pretty tasty food stalls at festivals these days, but the cost of buying ALL your food on site adds up. Hubby and I normally take snacks and some emergency tins of beans etc. And tea. Because I run on tea.
• Camping Stove and Pans – To heat up said emergency beans. Washing up gear is useful too, but bulky – hubby and I tend to take a sponge and then use our bigger pan as the bowl… a tea towel is also helpful when you don’t have anywhere to put wet pans. Oh, and don’t forget the lighter…
• Prescription Medicines/Minor Injury Kit – If you have to take medicines regularly then you’ll probably automatically pack them, but it’s easy to forget everyday remedies like hay fever medicine (might just be me…!). Take some plasters, antiseptic wipes/cream and some insect bite cream for those minor mis-haps, and take note of where the medical tent is so you know where to go on the off-chance that something more serious happens.
• Clothes – Take clothes that layer well together. Being a comfort-over-fashion kind of girl, I am definitely an advocate of bringing plenty of warm comfy clothes, which is a challenge when trying to pack lightly. However, even if you’re a proper fashionista, layers are still a good idea – then you can look good and be warm.
  
  It’s a good idea to keep a spare set of clothes in your tent that do not leave it. That way you’ve always got something dry to put on. Trust me, it can make a heck of a difference after a couple of hours in the rain.
• Scissors and String – It’s really surprising how often you need a pair of scissors when you don’t have any to hand. And string is useful for lots of festival things: stringing up a banner so you can find your tent easily, bodged tent repairs, tying stuff to your rucksack to make it easier to carry home – the list goes on.


Main stage, 2000Trees 2009 (not sure who’s playing, sorry)

• Your sense of fun – Seeing as most of this list is full of sensible advice about being prepared, it’s worth remembering that festivals are about fun, music and letting yourself go a bit. So enjoy!

I’ve probably forgotten something – but hopefully this list will help you be festival-ready, especially if it’s your first time. Let me know in the comments if you think I’ve missed something important, or if you have any of your own tips for festival survival. I love hearing from you!

Talking on the Phone | Peas and Cougars

Check out this post from Peas and Cougars – turns out that I am not the only person that hates the phone!

Talking on the Phone | Peas and Cougars.

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression

I’ve been feeling down a lot lately and I can’t quite place why. Yes, there are a couple of reasons, but none of them call for the weird emotional rollercoaster of mental self-criticism I’ve been going through (or putting myself through?) over the past month or so.

So anyway – instead of me moaning on, I thought I would share this post from the hilarious Hyperbole and a Half blog as it’s a strangely uplifting and humorous look at depression.

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression.

Oh, and fellow English language lovers – while you’re over there, check out the post on Alots… you will not regret it.

Natural History, Gigs, Friends and OMFG I’m Tired…

Friday the 13th, and we packed up early to head for London.

The main reason for our trip? A chance to see Frank Turner headlining Wembley Arena. The reason for the earliness? Dinosaurs! Specifically, an opportunity to go the Natural History Museum while we were in the area anyway.

We rocked up (see what I did there…?) at the museum in the early afternoon, expecting it to be busy but perhaps not queue-for-30-minutes-to-get-in-to-the-dinosaur-exhibit busy. Never mind: we’re British; we can queue with the best of them – and it was totally worth the wait. We spent hours wandering through throngs of people, taking in skeletons and fossils, birds and beasts preserved for posterity, and even the building itself, which is an impressive maze of exhibits and ornately decorated with all sorts of cool panels. The more modern Darwin Centre was really interesting too, with lots of interactive displays and stuff for kids (and big kids like me) to play with.

On to the big gig: I won’t ramble on about how awesome I think Frank Turner is – I’ve already done that many a time on this here blog – but I will say this: if anyone deserves to sell out a Wembley show, it is Frank. The man works hard, I tells ya.

Hubby and I were seated up in the rafters where we could hear the crowd almost as much as the band – and it was seriously the biggest sing-along I have ever heard. Almost every person knew almost every word to almost every song. And as much as I would have loved to have been jumping about down in the pit, hearing that from where we were was pretty fucking cool.

Support from Beans on Toast, Dan le Sac & Scroobious Pip and Billy Bragg was all good too – even if Beans on Toast did only manage to finish one song (he was charming enough to get away with it)!

The morning after, and the journey back was broken up only by a brief stop in Reading for an over-due catch up with our good friends Hayley and Mel over tea and hot cross buns. Which was nice.

A short stop at home, and we were off again – this time over to Cheltenham to catch some of the Trees on Fire Spring Fling mini festival at The Frog and Fiddle.  By this point I was a bit too tired to really pay attention to band names (getting old, see… and the cider may not have helped), so I can’t really point out my highlight sets other than Andy Oliveri and Ben Marwood, both of whom I’ve seen and met before (yep, favouritism, I admit it). There was a ska-type band that I liked early-ish in the afternoon, and the last band we saw (Arcane Roots, I think) were excellent – hard, heavy and dynamic.

Didn’t have a camera with me, but here’s DominicMeason’s photos of the event.

And then just like that it was Sunday, which I probably should have spent resting but decided instead to try to dig over some of my garden, and then fell asleep at just the right point to prevent me from sleeping at a sensible bed time.

I may have nearly fallen asleep at my desk today, but it was totally worth it. It’s been a hell of a weekend.