Things to do before I’m 30 Re-visited

Last year I wrote a list of ten ‘Things to do Before I’m 30’ – and then spectacularly failed to do any of them before I hit the big three-zero.

Never mind, I thought – why give yourself an arbitrary deadline? Why not do these things in your own time? And so that’s what I’ve been doing, and now seemed like a good time to re-visit the list to see how I’m getting on. If you want to see my reasons for the things on the list, the original post is here.

1. Record an album – Well, it’s in progress… But I am gradually creeping closer to being finished as I now have 11 tracks recorded and close to being ready for mixing. Then I just need to get the thing mastered and produced! So a bit of a way to go, but I’m getting there.
2. Improve my instrumental skills – I’ve started taking piano lessons again, and I’ve been working on my guitar skills. This is one that won’t ever really stop though, so maybe putting a deadline on it was a mistake in the first place…
3. Go on tour – I’m hoping to start booking dates soon, but it’ll depend on when I can get the album released.
4. Start learning Spanish – Yeah, this one’s on the back-burner.
5. Travel – I went to Tunisia, which was ok, and I’m off to Spain in September, hopefully (hmmm, maybe I should make more of an effort with the above point before I go!). I still aim to travel more though.
6. Get a tattoo – Done! I never actually thought I’d go through with this one, but here we are. Did it hurt? Yes. But not too badly, actually, and I’m really pleased with the result.
7. Try something different with my hair – I dyed my hair black for the last Malmesbury Carnival (so technically, I did get this done before my 30^th!), but it faded out really quickly and I couldn’t be bothered to re-do it. I’m still quite bored with my hair so maybe I’ll have another crack at it one day. I’m just not very good at making the effort with stuff like that though.
8. Create a cartoon character that is “edgy enough to be alternative, but still cute enough to be marketable” (like Skull Panda) – Yeah, another one on the back burner.
9. Write a non-serious song -  and another.
10. Try snowboarding – and another!

Well, there it is – my half-arsed attempt at doing a list of things.

I might give up on a couple (like the non-serious song… attempts at humour have been poor. I’m just not naturally funny!), but I’ve actually achieved more than I thought I had. Maybe you’ll read this and think it’s not a very successful list, that I’ve failed in meeting my own targets, but it doesn’t matter really. What matters is that I haven’t given up, that I’m trying, and slowly working towards finishing the items that are really important to me.

Ch-ch-changes

Change is important, and be it good or bad we should try to embrace it. 

I started a new job a few months ago, working two days a week. Dropping down from working full time has made a great deal of difference to me – I am happier, and generally more positive about life.

Not that I don’t have down days, but I can see this job as a means to an ends and it doesn’t stop me from doing the thing that I love as much – unlike my old job, which seemed to constantly be in my thoughts and to consume my time, even when I wasn’t there.

Since leaving, I’ve started feeling a lot more in control of my own life. Although I am not yet making money from doing what I love (making music), I am working towards it. I am taking steps towards the mountain, as Neil Gaiman so elegantly put it in this speech.

The only problem is that now, on my ‘non-working’ days, the only person who’s standards I have to meet are my own – and that can be an issue. I can do stuff in my own time which, although it’s a fantastic thing to be able to do, does give me heaps of scope to procrastinate. Secondly, I am quite hard on myself when things don’t sound as I think they should. When you’ve only got your own instincts to go by, how do you know when something is ‘good enough’ or even finished?

In the long run though, I feel like I’m moving forwards again. I’m not feeling stuck or trapped like I was at the end of last year, and that’s given me welcome space to change my outlook, be much more creative and to focus where my priorities lie.

In Defense of Autotune (Kind of)

Autotune – the very word conjures images of young pop-stars cavorting around mid dance routine, glitz, glamour and studio magic, and is about as far removed from the ‘authentic’ singer-songwriter image as you can get (by the way, if you’re interested you can see my earlier post for more on authenticity).

But more on that later… first off let’s look at what Autotune actually is, and how it works.

Autotune is designed to correct the pitch of a singer’s voice when a performance is off-key. It does this by ‘pulling’ the recorded note to the designated pitch set by the user. This is similar to a technique used in sampling and recording, which has been around for a while and is essentially playing back the sample at a different speed to change the frequency (or pitch) of the sound. Autotune is a bit (well, a lot) more sophisticated than this, but it does still have limitations. The further you need to pull the note to get it in tune, the more you lose the natural quality of the singing voice.

Auto-tune can be used to make an out of tune performance good, but there are limits to its effectiveness if you want the vocal to sound natural – especially if the original recording is way off-key.

So, this brings me to my main point – Autotune is just another tool. Studio tools such as effects (like reverb and delay) and compression (used to increase loudness and smooth out dynamic range) have been used for years to get a particular vocal sound; yet these are not demonised in the same way that Auto-tune is.

And as with most tools, Auto-tune can be (in my opinion, is) overused. I put this down to fashion – for many years, producers of pop music have been after ‘the sound’. In the 80s, it was fashionable for vocals to be drenched in reverb, in the 90s vocals are generally further forward in the mix and given quite a lot of ‘punch’ with compression. These days, we have become used to hearing tuned vocals because they are everywhere – it is the current fashionable sound.

Autotune can also be used creatively though – for example, there have been many recent YouTube video hits of spoken interviews turned into songs using Autotune. Perhaps it’s not exactly high-brow art, but it has caused people to re-think what the technology can and can’t be used for.

Personally, I don’t use Autotune on my vocals. This is a deliberate choice, and one that I’ve made for a couple of reasons: I want people to hear the natural quality of my voice – the real me, so to speak. I can usually hear the effect of Autotune, and to me it sounds ‘too perfect’ and a little forced. And, as someone who records at home, budget is a big constraint. Why spend extra cash on something that I don’t really like or need for the sake of fashion? I wouldn’t do that with clothes, so I certainly wouldn’t do that with something as important as my music.

At the end of the day, it’s mostly about the sound that you’re going for. If you want your vocals to sound polished, perfect and up-to-date, Autotune is a tool that can help you do that. But, if you want to record vocals that sound natural and ‘real’, I’d steer away from it. The choice is up to you.

What Is ‘Real’ Music Anyway?

There’s a lot of discussion among music fans about what is ‘real music’ and what’s not. Usually, it’s more a question of ‘manufactured’ versus ‘proper musician’, which can lead to some frank and pretty derogatory discussions. It is, however, a difficult question answer when you really think about it, but for what it’s worth – here’s my twopence…

When we think about ‘real’ music, what we’re really talking about is how authentic the artist appears to be. Authenticity is about two things; how the artist portrays themselves, and the strength of their musical connection with the listener. When an artist makes a positive connection through their music, they create a relationship with the listener and this is the basis of fandom; the listener begins to buy in to the music and to the artist.

When an artist is fully involved with the production of their music, and are seen to have creative control over it, the connection between fan and artist seems more direct, and thus more powerful. The artist is able to communicate effectively through their songs and through their media image exactly what they wish to portray, whatever genre or style they are working within.

‘Manufactured’ music that appears to be controlled heavily by outside influences (such as producers, additional songwriters and industry professionals) can, arguably, be less effective at creating these same strong relationships with music fans. The  relationships are more transient and changeable, often with the fans quickly moving on to the next big thing.

But the question is, does this make the music any less ‘real’? It may not have been written by the artist who is performing it, it may have snazzy production and Auto-tuned* vocals, but this is nothing new. All music has to be created by someone, be that a producer or the artist themselves. Someone has put their time and energy into writing, playing and recording the songs that you’re listening to. You might not like it, but then that’s your perogative.

So when the latest hit by whomever is topping the charts comes on the radio for the millionth time it’s very easy to dismiss it as manufactured, even when you understand the work that goes into making it. But the truth is, what’s happening there is simply the listener not connecting with the music that they are hearing. Even a self-confessed music snob like me can find examples of pop productions that I enjoy.

In the end, I think, it boils down to two types of music – that which you as a listener can find a connection with, and that which you can’t. You could call this ‘good’ and ‘bad’ if you like (and yes, we all often do!), but really it’s about music you like and music you don’t. It’s all down to taste.

*More on Auto-tune in a future post me-thinks

Post It Note Sketches

Post It notes – I love them… But we’ll get on to that in a bit.

First, I’d like to explain what’s been going on in my life recently. Of course, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I quit my job a while ago, and at the time, was not-so-patiently waiting for life to re-start when I’d worked the last of my notice there. Well now it has, and I have to say, the difference in my mood and personality has been amazing. It’s so nice to wake up in the morning and to decide for myself what the plan for the day is. Yes, it’s now completely up to me to get motivated and to get stuff done, but I can work on what I like when I like, and that has made me so much happier.

Financially it makes sense for me to look for another job at least part-time, but at the moment my priority is to get the never ending album project finished and that is what I am concentrating on.

So anyway, back to the point. When I was not so gainfully unemployed, I used to sketch little things on Post-It notes. It was kind of a coping mechanism as it gave my mind a small break from whatever spreadsheet I was staring at. Apparently doodling has been shown to help memory and concentration, but even so, my little sketch collection seemed to be frowned upon… yet I couldn’t bring myself to throw them all out.

Recently I was tidying up the studio and I found a stack of ones that I’d brought home with me, so I thought I’d share them:

What do cows say? That’s right – cows say ‘moo’.

Possibly a panther. Definitely a big cat.

Some fan art… Looshkin belongs to Jamie Smart and is usually less chunky than this!

Butterfly flutterin’ by.

Some curly curls being curly.

Yes, past me – drawing IS fun

Technically not a Post It sketch… Liked it enough to share it anyway.

Flowery fun with highlighters

More fan art – Filler Bunny is the creation of Jhonen Vasquez.

Why, monkey – don’t you have big ears?!

A lion sat next to a product code. That happens a lot in real life, right?

And if you like those, here’s a tumblr dedicated solely to the art of Post-Its. You can even send in your own!

In Limbo

It’s a Thursday afternoon and here I sit, in limbo. Having handed in my notice at work, it feels like I am just waiting for the end to start. And once that happens, perhaps I can begin anew.

I do feel better though, despite the nagging fear that there won’t be another job out there, or that I won’t be able to find the self-motivation to finish the projects that I am determined to make time for. In this limbo state, I can see more clearly that this is not a bad thing.

Change is important, and whether life after my old job turns out to be good, bad or even a complete surprise, I know that I would have regretted staying.

So, thank you to everyone who sent me messages or who I’ve chatted with since my last blog post . Thank you for your support, concern and advice – I appreciate your thoughts, both positive and negative (or sensible, as they’re also known ). It’s good to know you’re there.

And the countdown continues…

Snowballing Momentum and New Starts

 

There’s been this creeping feeling of wrongness in my life for some time now. And the longer it’s been there, the bigger it has felt – gaining momentum like the proverbial snowball down the slope – to the point where hubby and I came home after a really good night out and I just cried.

And cried, and cried.

I decided then – it’s time to stop it. Time to accept that there are things that I am not happy about, and to address them.

I seem to have spent most of this year questioning myself:  Am I happy with life? Am I getting anywhere with my music? Am I spending my time on the right things? Am I ‘good enough’? Have I made the right choices? Am I doing anything to make the world better? Am I doing something I believe in? Am I going in even vaguely the right direction?

These are the kind of questions that we do need to ask ourselves from time to time, but the constant drip, drip, drip of self-doubt has just been making me miserable.

In all this questioning, there is one definite answer. Things need to change – and at the top of the list is my job.

Those who know me personally will know that I’ve said this for some time, but now I really think that my happiness, time and mental health is worth more than the monthly wage that’s been keeping me there.

I need a new start.

I don’t expect this to magically fix everything – in fact, I fully expect the next few months to be pretty tough. There will be less money coming in so there will have to be cut-backs, but I believe that hubby and I will be able to get by, get through it, and hopefully come out the other side happier.